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6 Relationship Pointers to Nurture and Maintain Healthy Relationships
Do you remember how you and your best friend started talking? Or how was the first date with your partner? Can you recall that peaceful chai session with your parents on a rainy afternoon?
We smile when we see them and our heart feels warm.
The comfort of someone’s presence in our lives isn’t only defined by the good times. It is how they react and stay with you when you feel low matters more.
How to find out that your relationship is a healthy one?
Signs you are in a nourishing relationship:
You trust each other
You are open about how you feel
There is no need to ask for space
You respect each other
Wasn’t this how we used to define a healthy relationship with anyone? The world changes with the pandemic, there isn’t a normal anymore. Then do you feel the definition needs a little tweaking? But things are not always stable and just like a small plant, we have to tend to it with care and love. We hear talks about a healthy relationship but we know it isn’t easy!
Here are a few things to consider as you work on growing in your relationship with your partner, family or friends:
Lend a listening ear: Losing someone or even the thought of it must have crossed all our minds. Staying confined with the four walls for over a year also takes a toll. Our mind comprehends a lot more. Reading into every line isn’t possible.
In comes the Art of Listening. You do not have to have an answer to everything. You cannot make them process grief or any other emotion faster.
2. No expectations, no demands
In short; nothing. In times when you don’t even know what your next meal is, how do you expect them to cook an elaborate meal for a date? Yes, gestures go a long way, but not everyone is in the state to plan a candlelight dinner? Maybe a 3 AM honest talk with no judgments is what they need. So, understand and ask.
3. Teamwork makes the home work: Most of us have already taken up chores at home. From washing dishes to doing the laundry, we have helped at home. But this is not what we are talking about. It is important to have people in sync. Mood swings are not just because of periods. We don’t wanna figuratively blow the roof off the house. On days when you can, make sure you do your bit in getting everyone together at the same pace.
4. Time-out: Ever noticed how in every sport the player gets a timeout between two rounds? Call it however you want, point is you, your family and your friends are those players and that timeout is for all of you to recuperate, reflect and be present. Be it at the end, start or the middle of the day or week, you need it.
If you all don’t already sit together, ease into it with some tasty cookies and coffee maybe?
5. Change the question: Our amazing system has trained us with some default answers.
“How are you?”
“ I’m fine/I’m good/ I’m doing well”
“What’s happening?”
“Nothing much, same old”
Well, they might not be fine and maybe a LOT is happening. So change your questions. Ask “how are you feeling?” or “what were you doing?” Workaround their answers, just be sure to not sound intrusive.
6. Be available and distraction-free
Setting aside just 10 minutes a day to talk to your child or friend or partner, without distractions, can make a big difference in establishing good communication habits. Turn off the TV, put away your electronic devices, and spend some quality time together. They need to know that you believe they are a priority in your life despite the many distractions and stressors that come your way.
